Past – not using anymore, but still thinking through

Scribbles :

There are many times in our life we cross a path which we like or dislike, as we go we tend to miss those roads and move to either a bigger or better road or the otherwise. When we go in this journey of life we cross so many people in those roads, some come alone, some be a silent spectator, some would stand in your way and you would have managed to go through them or give them a price for your travel.

I am thinking will there be a time for me when I can actually stand and think and remember all those paths and people whom I met and how I am standing in this stage, As I think there comes my next work that I have to perform in this current role and the path I have taken. Realizing, life’s intention is to keep us going as long as we want and its just a choice if we need to remember the roads that we have taken.

Still there are few roads and people of the past like few of our teachers, friends, few actions in life may be idealistic, victorious, romantic, spiritual that you would carry as memories, but will those be cherised without actually cherishing the moment? because to cherish that moment, in our memories we need the present to stop and past to be present. How many secs or minutes do we get to do that. Thinking through there are so many beautiful memories, that comes listing in brain, the moment I DO NOT WANT TO THINK of that.

Layer after layer, role that we performed, the life has given us a beautiful hard disk called brain. This does not go out of space, and this does not need any RAM to have cache, its a tool to build a history of ourselves within us. The untold stories, untold mysteries what all a brain is storing. Have you ever sat in a place in a calm manner and thought atleast about this brain that gives us such a beatiful storage space.

In this running years and changing priorities, shifting responsibilities tireless work where is the moment to honour the self which has carried us from wherever we were to this place. If we cannot be thankful to our own self who should be thankful to, both good and bad decisions are taken buy you, sometimes we took side of love, sometimes we created the confusion, we had the confidence that we were right, and sometime we did go ahead even knowing we were wrong. sometimes we believed in ourself when we were mean, and we sometime didnt believe in ourselves when we could have done the job ahead of us.

While thinking these through, then came a bigger query of “God” many a times in life till now. Is there god or not, should I believe or not, even if I believe whom should I believe. Is god a human being or humans become god. Is god to be viewed in different parlance by different people? if god is a supreme power why should god think to divide humanity. If human’s are dividing themselves, why should they call god in the name of that act. Should we fear in god to expect that people will not make mistakes (as many folklore stories says) or should we fear in ourselves before doing wrong things. These kind of day to day confusions and aberrations slowly put us in a track where we start tending to expect a help or source of superpower in all the activities that we do.

While taking such references, when starting to see outside world in different dimensions each day, different people come and go influencing our decisions, lifestyle, culture, thoughts, philosophies, life becomes like just another day, when this happens the same thought of beautiful past recollects, but again the cycle of responsiblity cannot stop it circles us back so that we fall as a victim of the present running like a horse running behind the carrot shown in front of its mouth.

Many a times good moments, good people, and good events does not come to the mind when we try to think about it, we have missed a beautiful piece of history that gave us happiness and satisfaction. people who gave your life a new meaning, beginning and end too. Events that made you a hero, star, joker, jerk but still you cannot recollect those. Documenting events is something which is very important. Why not documenting your own history and liking to be our passion. What is wrong in we putting ourself in the shoe whatever it may concern, if things go wrong, lets ask ourself what have we done to change it, if things go well lets take the credit for it. Will this help increasing self confidence, or will we go like stubborn over confident fool to think we are the next avatar to take this world forward.

Many a roads we passed many to cover, but when I want to look back only few roads appear with very little faces, its pathetic because in the name of running for success, I might have missed the catalyst that brought me here in the form of event or people, and may be this day If i want to return back the favours, helps and wishes they gave unconditionally to me, I couldnt, as in the event to make my brain shine, I forgot what heart asked me to document. Ands thats a life i call a lifestyle today.. Should I be ashamed or is there still time to change, I dont even have time to think that as cycle of my present duties is pulling me in again, and here I go back to my modern sophisticated materialistic life to take care of my present

Sathish Sampath

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